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Went with Likeness, Returned with Love: Experience of visiting Pakistan


As an ardent supporter of Indo-Pak peace and having many friends in Pakistan, visiting Pakistan was a long-awaited desire for me. Having worked actively as a member of Aaghaz-e-Dosti, a cross-border Indo-Pak friendship initiative, I didn’t have many pre-conceived notions about the country. I was far too excited that I would finally visit Pakistan.

The literally golden opportunity was an academic conference on inclusive education that was organized by University of Management and Technology (Lahore). When my co-authored paper was selected, I and my friend Madhavi Bansal knew that this was only the first step forward. The second and most difficult step was getting a visa. Our apprehensions were right. The struggle for visa comprised of standing in a long queue outside the embassy waiting endlessly, being on the verge of rejection with a host of terrible sounding suggestions that are not listed on the embassy website, troubling our hosts with emails to intervene more and offering daily prayers. To our great surprise celebrated with tears of joy, we were finally granted the visa to visit Lahore.

The moment of crossing the border filled with me emotions. The white line on the border reminded me of Manto’s stories, especially of Toba Tek Singh. I imagined seeing the spot where the story had concluded. I was to cross the border and enter the land which is prejudiced, which we have been taught is different and opposing.

In a span of six days, we were to discover if this was actually true. While we had been talking to people from Pakistan through our peace activities, the people would mainly be those who were already convinced somewhere about peace so this was the first experience of interacting with people who may have had no experience of interacting with Indians. However, as expected, it largely turned out to be a myth.

Because of our language which was apparently “Urdu”, people could tell that we are non lahoris but we being Indians was not what they would imagine. We were travelling in a rickshaw. While directly, he smiled at some words that I used and I thought that he has found out. He asked me where we were from and on discovering that we were Indians, his eyes widened and he exclaimed, “mashallah!” He said that he knew that we are not from Lahore but had thought that we are probably from Karachi! He shared that his grandparents had migrated from India. He said that both Hindus and Muslims pray to god but only use different words and that there is really no difference. There is no hatred but politics.

The expression of disbelief, the wide eyes and giving us a second look when we would inform people that we are Indians was unforgettable and something that I enjoyed. After they would find out, they would change. They would become more welcoming towards us. We were invited for lunch at home by complete strangers.

Even in the university, the environment was way beyond friendly, it was quite special. There were people who came for our presentation only because we were Indians. A more special thing was that before our presentation, the moderator of the session welcomed us with a quote of Mahatma Gandhi. We were cared for far beyond what we could ever expect.

Besides the university conference, our other main focus was to meet our friends and interact with people. We got the opportunity to interact with school and college students. The interactions helped me to know how people of Pakistan, especially the youth thinks. People of both countries hold stereotypes and misconceptions about each other and the reason is that there are very few platforms for knowing each other. The sessions, thus, helped to answer the curiosities. We were asked about different religions in India and I informed that India is a land of religious diversities just like Pakistan. The constitution of India even legally recognizes and respects agnostics and atheists. Similarly, a student in Punjab University asked about pathans in India. They inquired about how they are perceived. There were questions on how Pakistanis are perceived in India, how pakistanis serials and movies are seen in India. I spoke about the success of Zindagi channel that has provided a great alternative to the never ending and boring saas-bahu sagas that dominated the Indian TV industry. For movies, there is still a big void and people hardly know the great movies that Pakistan has produced.

What also came out of interactions was that youth of Pakistan like youth of India are not much aware of the issues, the complexities yet are embroiled in the conflict, in the culture of stereotypes sustained by the biased media and lack of people to people contacts. In Punjab University, over the discussion on the restrictions of visa, a student justified the city-specific visa by saying that Indians would come and spy on our weapons. Another important part of the discussion was on the role that people can play in improving the relations. Interestingly, I was asked the same question during a discussion in a university in Gujarat (India), some months back.

The questions that we were asked in Pakistan were exactly the same as are asked in discussions in India on this issue. This shows that people on sides are curious, have the same apprehensions, perceptions about each other. Having these interactions also helped as they highlighted the fact that on both sides, people prefer peace over conflict. The students were excited to hear us and wanted to interact and connect personally.

While the six days in Pakistan gave way to new bonds, it also strengthened the existing ones. While Lahore didn’t seem much different and definitely not part of a different country, my friends, three of whom came all the way from Islamabad and one from Peshawar made sure that it didn’t even seem like a different city. Six days in Pakistan and few hours before my scheduled departure, I was wondering if I could stay back even for one more day..this would say how Pakistan treated me. I came back with new thoughts, knowledge to break some more stereotypes and more importantly, a new strength to work for peace between the two countries. Let people of India and Pakistan meet and I am confident that each one will pen down a similar story.

Devika Mittal is pursuing Ph.D in Sociology from Delhi School of Economics. She is the Convener(India) of Aaghaz-e-Dosti, a joint Indo-Pak Friendship initiative. She tweets at @devikasmittal

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